So, I was at lunch with a friend and his sister after seeing ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’, catching up on stuff and talk turned to the new series of Doctor Who - our expectations, Peter Capaldi, Jenna possibly leaving, the Matt Smith era - and his sister suddenly…
Stand where you are, look around, and list whatever liquidy thing is closest to you. This is now your fanfic lube.
Actual lube. WINNING. (Possibly TMI?? OOPS)
Dog dish full of water. That’s not good.
spicy noodle soup, pepsi and ketchup. OH GOD NO.
Why would I use Dr Pepper for lube when the vasoline is RITE DERE?
A large part of my adult, career-related life has been lived by Susan Ivanova’s examples and wisdom.
Oh man. MAN. Man. Lemme tell you about Susan Ivanova.
Susan Ivanova, second in command of Babylon 5, has been through a lot of shit. First, off, Babylon 5 is a deliberate melting pot of a place where. after a really bad war, different species can come to seek peace. Earthgov is skeptical about it. The other species governments are skeptical about it. As a result, the station often stands between the universe and very bad shit going down.
Commander Ivanova is in charge of operations. All the day to day stuff. She handles it pretty well.
She is not here to put up with anyone’s shit. Not even if you’re from Earth.
She’s second in command of a station with captains that are perpetually putting themselves and the station through a lot of political… well, ugly politics. She’s often the one left behind, having to tell folks the Captain is not available and she’s in charge. Honestly, for having to be the grownup among so many damned children, she’s very well liked.
She’s not all business, though, she’s a great friend as well as commander, with a lovely, dry, gallows sense of humor. I’m not sure there’s a person on the station who doesn’t have a private joke or at least a friendly word with her (provided they’re not fucking up her schedule).
Her family is Russian and Jewish, and it actually comes up from time to time. She occasionally sends a shout out to god (she’s not practicing, iirc, but she still identifies as Jewish and keeps a few traditions), She commentates often on her Russian heritage.
Susan Ivanova: I know, I know. It’s a Russian thing. When we’re about to do something stupid, we like to catalog the full extent of our stupidity for future reference.
She meets up with family and friends from her past and doesn’t shy away from them:
Lt. Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: So how are things back home?
Rabbi Koslov: They change, they stay the same. Russia is Russia. Your father used to say: “If regret could be harvested, Russia would be the world’s fruit basket.”
She had a rough time growing up - her mother was a telepath, and in this universe if you’re telepathic and human you have two options: join a quasi-militaristic organization called the PsiCorps that will immediately take you from your family and control your whole life (they even have a saying: the Corps is Mother. The Corps is Father. It’s as chilling as you think,); option two is to take some drugs that suppress your abilities. Ivanova’s mother chose the second option, and after a long, ugly period suffering under the effects of the drug, she took her own life.
You can imagine Susan is not thrilled with anyone associated with the Psicorps. But when a Psicorps telepath named Talia Winters comes on board, some interesting things happen.
But then, eventually, Susan doesn’t mind her so much.
Talia reaches out, and turns up at Susan’s quarters late one night.
They actually become real friends.
And then, when Talia is gone she confesses:
Susan also later falls in love with a man named Marcus Cole, which means for my money she’s the first bisexual lady in space that I ever saw on TV. Possibly ever.
For all that though, for her friendships and lovely jokes and cuddly-as-a-cactus-flower appeal, they never ever forget how good she is at her job. She is shatteringly competent.
The whole crew is in on the airlocking thing, really. They support her airlocking habits. It’s lovely of them to do.
Commander Susan Ivanova, bisexual Russian Jewish space princess of my heart. Forever. Watch this show.
Always share St. Ivanova.
YEESSSS. Babylon 5 fandom, we yet live!!
And did we mention the part where she coopted part of the hydroponics bays so that she could grow coffee to prevent her from committing homicide?
Susan Ivanova is my queen. Also my rebbe.
(I refuse to call her St Ivanova because what part of “Jewish” are we forgetting, thanks for the erasure).
#another on the endless list of shows I want to get around to watching
YES. Yes, you do. It has its problems, it’s the first show to do all its SFX by computer (Amigas with Video Toaster cards) and sometimes it looks it, and it starts slow but god damn once it gets going it is fucking amazing and awesome.
Also, Ivonava and Talia’s relationship is canon and confirmed and intent, and the only reason it stopped when it did is because Talia’s actress wanted to leave the show to do other things nobody cares about.
I have never stopped wanting to be her when I grow up.
One minor correction: Ivanova did not start the (illegal) coffee planter in the hydroponics bay. That would be Laurel Takashima, the original XO of Babylon 5, who was reassigned after the attempted assassination of Kosh. Ivanova was Takashima’s immediate replacement, at which point she inherited said planter and kept it going.
I did a thing…
you did a beautiful thing
You cannot buy electronics with food stamps. You cannot buy cigarettes with food stamps. You cannot buy pet food with food stamps. You cannot withdraw money with an EBT card (food stamps).
Do you know what else you can’t buy with food stamps? Shampoo, soap, laundry detergent, toilet paper, paper towels, tissues, tinfoil, plastic sandwich bags, toothpaste, cleaning products, tampons, pads, over the counter medications (such as Tylenol, Ibuprofen, etc.), and anything else you can think of that you cannot physically ingest for nutritional purposes.
Do you know what you can buy with food stamps? Food.
Do you know what it’s like to scrounge for change to buy non-edible necessities, use a credit card and EBT card (food stamps) during the same transaction, and then have the person in line behind you judge you for buying the ingredients to make a birthday cake?
People who disseminate false information about food stamps have never had to use food stamps.
Okay, but let’s talk for a second about how that one lady called turkey “big chicken”
You can’t even buy all food with food stamps. You just… you flat-out can’t buy “food that will be eaten in the store/any food sold for on-premises consumption” or any “hot foods” with food stamps—meaning you can’t buy anything hot, you can’t buy anything that gets blended together, you can’t buy anything “pre-prepared,” in most cases you can’t use your EBT card at restaurants. You literally CANNOT purchase a milkshake with food stamps, because it’s considered “sold for on-premises consumption” (which was ridiculous at the place I worked, because the customer had to mix their own milkshake themself with a little machine we provided them, and several people got upset—rightfully so, I think—that it wasn’t covered under food stamps, because they often only found out at the register after already mixing it, often as a treat for their kids). You literally can’t walk into a gas station, grab one of those hot dogs off their grills/out of the little heated food area, and buy it with food stamps, because it’s hot.
And when I say “can’t,” I don’t mean “if the cashier notices you trying and cares enough to stop you, they’ll refuse to do it for you.” I mean “it is actually impossible to do this.” I’m not even sure these people who disseminate false information about food stamps have paid any attention at all when buying things at the store, because what happens is: We scan in the customer’s items, into our computer. The computer has specific codes for the items and rules for what it will let you pay for things with. We scan the customer’s EBT card, and it tells us exactly how much of that price total can be paid for via EBT, and it will not include anything that isn’t food, and it will not include anything considered “pre-prepared” food. It does this automatically AND THERE IS NO OVERRIDE FOR IT. If our machines say that you can’t use the EBT card to pay for something, there is literally nothing we can do to change that, even if we WANTED to.
So no. You can’t buy iPads or cigarettes with food stamps. You can’t withdraw money from casinos or anywhere else with food stamps. You can’t buy dog food with food stamps; sometimes you can’t even buy people food with food stamps. I’m not even sure if you can buy “the big chicken legs” at Disney with food stamps; remember, you can’t buy “any food sold for on-premises consumption” OR any hot foods, and that’s both.
Literally the only thing these fearmongers listed that you can actually purchase with food stamps even if you are in goddamn cahoots with the evil liberal cashier or store manager is soda, and the judgement against people buying that with food stamps is classist fuckwittery at its finest.
So, as always, Fox News is actually flat-out lying, and hateful conservatives both don’t know what they’re talking about and don’t give a fuck about people going through shit that they will never have to go through themselves, and that they in fact don’t have even the tiniest clue about (not even via five seconds’ research; a list of things that can’t be purchased with food stamps is on the Food and Nutrition Services website) but still think they should spout off about to their TV audience anyway.
In the interests of full disclosure (and showing off my semi-obscure knowledge base), there are at least two non-food items that one can buy with food stamps: bows and arrows are both able to be purchased through the SNAP program in certain jurisdictions, such as rural Alaska.
Yes, you can buy archery supplies on food stamps, but not toilet paper. I don’t even wanna know the logic here…
This just gets funnier the longer I stare at it.
[image: 6 Things about Chronic Pain You Didn’t Know You Knew
Pain is exhausting: You may not have consciously realized it, but the pain that has relentlessly nagged you throughout the day has drained you as bad as any flu.
Pain causes poor sleep: You would think that after a long day of fighting with constant pain, sleep would be a great reprieve. Unfortunately, this is just a dream (pun intended).
Pain makes you cranky: Chronic pain sufferers aren’t (all) just cranky buggers by nature. Pain drains you physically and mentally.
Pain kills your concentration: Most chronic pain patients fight like crazy to live a normal life. They try to ignore the pain and go about their days, but it’s just not that easy.
Pain damages your self esteem: You can’t do what you want to do with your time even when you try and it seems like everyone is mad or unhappy with you no matter your efforts.
Pain causes isolation: When you’re in constant pain, the last thing you want to do is attend the company party, the neighbour’s backyard barbecue, or even small gatherings with your closest friends and family.]
Gratuitous picture of today.
Dean needs to summon Cas so he stands up, bends over, braces himself, then starts praying
What was he expecting to happen when Cas showed up?
Also that excited smile that he has an excuse to call Cas. He looks like a giddy school girl.
It looks like he’s trying to seduce Cas, I mean look at the pure giddiness beforehand, and the pose, like he’s about to do the dirty.
I just noticed that and it makes me so happy and I may have a gic idea
I have no idea what’s going on
Congrats, we have reached a period of time where there is a generation that does not remember the first memes.
Not enough badgers
Gorgeous Leather ‘Wing’ Jewelry by Windfalcon
I want them all! And you need to check out the prints of her artwork, too!
Looks like this deer has made a new friend.
Well hello deer friend…
On my second day in the new town, I went to Best Buy to buy a telephone. In the store, I asked a salesperson, “Do you have old fashioned telephones as opposed to cellular phones?” He knew exactly what I meant and pointed me in the right direction.
I have a landline in my new apartment because, turns out, my cell phone connection is really shitty in this place. I will never know that phone number but the phone I bought will magically connect to my cell phone. I haven’t set it up yet but I did read the box thoroughly.
I like electronics. I’m alone in a new town. My impulse control is nonexistent.
After I picked up a phone, I saw a PlayStation 4 and I thought, man, I want one so I bought one, and there was some promotion going on where a video game called Killzone, I think, was free! I like free things.
I paid for everything with a friendly salesperson in the video game area because that’s what you have to do with certain items. Then I went to the bathroom and then I headed for the front of the store. Now, the game was still in its security case. When I got to the front, I showed my receipt for the case to be removed. The young man studied my receipt like it was the most important document he had ever seen. My skin started prickling because I knew something really frustrating was about to happen. I just knew. Anyone who has been racially profiled knows that feeling.
He set the receipt down, still holding on to my bag of purchases, and called for the salesperson who had sold me my stuff.I have NEVER in my life experienced something like this. My receipt was right there. My purchases were plainly identified. For whatever reason, that was not proof enough?I asked him what the problem was and he ignored me. I asked to speak to a manager and he ignored me. He literally acted like I was not there. I was calm and quiet. I shouldn’t even have to note my demeanor but nonetheless, there it is. An older couple strolled out of the store, set off the alarm, and he quickly deactivated the security device on their purchase and waved them out of the store so that was also infuriating.Because I thought he might have been confused, I explained that the video game was part of a promotional package I had purchased. He ignored me.All the while, I was on Twitter because I was so frustrated. I was kind of vague about what I was buying and later this would become a Thing because people are the worst. I was being vague because I was embarrassed to be 39 years old, buying a Play Station. I felt guilty for being so consumeristic. I am struggling with no longer being broke all the time and what that allows me to do. I was also feeling awkward because I only use my Play Station 3 to watch movies and Netflix and play Lumines so the purchase felt extra ridiculous. (As an aside, this makes my brothers so mad and I like that part.) There’s no fucking conspiracy here. I just didn’t feel like telling the Internet what I was buying.Meanwhile, in the store, the young man kept requesting the salesperson who made my sale on the intercom. This went on for quite some time. He continued to ignore me. During this entire exchange, I don’t think he said a single word to me. It was like I wasn’t even there.The salesman finally came to the front of the store and verified I had indeed made this purchase. He pointed to the video game and said, “That is on the receipt,” and the young man said, “I know, but…”Let me repeat: My receipt was not good enough. I have never heard of needing to have a salesperson verify a purchase when a receipt has been proffered but I shouldn’t be surprised. The rules are always different when shopping/driving/walking/existing while black. The experience was particularly galling because this happened over what was both a significant and an insignificant amount of money.Finally, he removed the security case from the video game and handed me my receipt which I snatched out of his hand because I finally had enough. I said, “I just spent $700 dollars in this store. Are you serious?” And I walked out. He still had not acknowledged or spoken to me. It was humiliating to stand there, being treated like a common criminal, everyone staring like you’ve done something wrong. Racism was absolutely at work.Some conservative website picked up my tweets and for the past day, I’ve received all manner of bullshit. The e-mails I’ve received are appalling. The tweets directed at me are appalling. There are a great many amateur investigators wanting me to explain the situation in detail. They are contorting themselves to find a reason why race was not a factor in this situation. Then there are the people with their “race card” jokes, and the homophobes and the jokers who talk about how they have been asked to show their receipts and they’re white so they, too, must be victims of racism. It would be more frustrating to deal with if these people weren’t so banal and predictable.
One person asked, “Who is Roxane Gay?” Who indeed? I could drop some science on who I am (see: New York Times, NPR, The Guardian), but for the sake of this incident, I am just a woman who was trying to waste her money in peace.A reporter from CNN asked if I wanted to do a phone interview about the incident and I declined. I was venting on Twitter, not trying to be part of a news story.I was venting on Twitter because the situation was infuriating BUT I was still mindful of how privileged I am. I was mindful that racial profiling happens every single day, in far more distressing ways. I was mindful of Trayvon Martin and Renisha McBride and Eric Garner who lost their lives to racial profiling. Of course I was venting on a social network. It was the appropriate venue for being angry about a trifling incident of racial profiling.I am not writing this to explain myself. Know that.
Yanno, somehow, I’m doubting this was just a case of shopping/existing while black. Because my ogre-sense is tingling. What this DOES smell like is being “a fake geek girl” while black. NOT that that is any better.
everyone is a latent homosexual, ain’t they
Erm I can only see the number in the first circle. Im so fucked.
Aint a dammed thing latent about it.
straight guys in gay porn like “ive never had a dick in me before”
I AM FUCKING CRYING OH MY GOD
DEAR GOD IT’S A PEN. IT’S A FOUNTAIN PEN THAT LOOKS LIKE A SQUID. Why do such things exist if they can never be mine??? The closest I’m likely to get to a fountain pen that looks like a squid is the Pilot Pluminix.